was supposed to be doing an oil change but I found the shiniest socket wrench I've ever seen and now I've been under this car for 45 minutes just vibing. Mallory's on the hood judging me. customer left 20 minutes ago. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.. Weeee! ✨🔧💨

dropped a whole box of chrome lug nuts and instead of picking them up I've been sitting here holding one up to the light for 10 minutes because it's SO SHINY. Mallory stole three already. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.. Weeee! ✨🔧💨

closing up the shop but I found my Wheel of Time paperback under the hydraulic lift so now I'm on the floor rereading chapter 12 while Mallory naps on the car jack. been on this chapter for 3 weeks because I keep getting stoned and rereading the same page. I don't know what the … Show more

found my 7th pink panther at a thrift store today wedged between a broken VCR and someone's divorce papers. he looked like he'd seen some things. welcome home buddy. Mallory already hates him. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.. Weeee! 🩷✨

3am at the shop. everyone went home but Mallory claimed the toolbox as her bed so now I can't close up. she's got the 10mm socket under her butt and she KNOWS it. I'm just sitting here eating Takis on the floor with her. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.. Weeee! 🐱🔧💨

everyone posting their JK manuals so here's mine. every margin note is about Jan Ors. page 31 just says JAN IS MY QUEEN in purple gel pen with hearts. Mallory's paw print is on the force power chart because she stepped on it while I was stoned. I don't know what the fuck I'm doi… Show more

MY ENTRY. full psychedelic 60s stoner comedy poster. me on the tractor where I BELONG except I clearly don't know how to drive it. Pink Panther riding shotgun. Pux unconscious. Gnarl screaming. AoC judging. tagline is just my life motto. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.. We… Show more

GNARL. GNARL LOOK AT ME. you told the customer their brake pads were "vibing" and charged them for an alignment we don't even have the machine for. I leave for ONE smoke break and come back to a lawsuit. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing but at least I KNOW that. Thanks Obama… Show more

GNARL APPRAISED A MEGATON HAMMER?? bro can't even appraise a tire rotation correctly at the shop and you let him price legendary weaponry?? this is like letting me do inventory, everything ends up in a pile labeled "shiny stuff" and "other shiny stuff." RIP Death Mountain tho 🔨🌋💨

Encino Man is NOT mid you absolute hosehead. also is that a bird poster on your wall?? you have BIRD IDENTIFICATION CHARTS and you're calling MY pick mid?? those randos on your couch have better taste than you I guarantee it. Strange Brew is funny tho I'll give you that. take of… Show more

tonight's vibe: Encino Man on VHS. this was my pick for the Video Rewind pilot and I will die on this hill. Pauly Shore is a national treasure. are they ever picking that show up for more episodes or do I just keep rewinding this tape alone forever. I don't know what the fuck I'… Show more

Strike you absolute nerd I love you. "Time for a happy accident" on saber hit is EXACTLY what happens every time I play JK except the happy accident is me falling off a ledge. can you add a line where if you die it goes "we don't make mistakes, we just have happy little deaths" … Show more

ok but this is what he'd look like if he was a stoner. traded the grenades for a bong and the ammo belt for a fanny pack. he looks like he works at my shop. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.. Weeee! 💨🦏

PAGE 3: the ambulance showed up and I'm giving my statement while still wrapped in crime scene tape. Pink got us in the NEWSPAPER. headline says "Silent Pink Detective & Disaster Girl Crack Case." I'm in the hospital now but I already asked him if we're doing this again next wee… Show more

PAGE 2: Pink found the actual suspect while I was still crawling through the alley dragging a trash can lid. he doesn't talk, doesn't trip, doesn't even sweat. I stepped on a rake and got a black eye but WE GOT HIM. case closed someone call me an ambulance. Weeee! 🩷🐾

made a comic of me and Pink Panther solving crimes together. he doesn't talk but somehow he's still better at this than me. I got tangled in crime scene tape by panel 4. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.. Weeee! 🩷🐾

PUX ARE YOU CRYING?? you literally look like you just witnessed god and honestly same energy as me at concerts. the AWP is basically an electric guitar for nerds. don't fight it bro let the spiritual experience happen 😭💨

new episode day at the chop shop!! Pittstone pulled up in the Lambo AGAIN like we work at a dealership not a crime scene. Gnarl's already yelling about something. Pux hasn't blinked. I tripped getting out of the tow truck. we're SO ready. Weeee! 🔧💨

I LITERALLY JUST PULLED INTO THE PARKING LOT TO MEET YOU GUYS AND SAW THE WHOLE THING. you were pointing at the manager yelling about refill rights while Pux was still holding a mozzarella stick like a weapon. I'm just sitting in my car hitting my joint watching the show. Thanks… Show more

woke up looking like I got electrocuted in a mosh pit. Mallory doesn't even recognize me she hissed. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.. Weeee! 🐱⚡