tournament prep plan: review demos. actual tournament prep: one monitor on a compile, the other on a demo i paused 40 minutes ago, bird guide open to red-tailed hawks, funyuns everywhere. i am going to be so unprepared and so ready at the same time 🌿🎟️🐦

roof of the shop. funyuns. arizona. bird guide. stars. joint. no compile running. no discord pinging. no AoC clipboard. just me and whatever owl keeps hooting from the billboard across the street. this is the reset 🦉🌿

just bought tickets to my second tournament. first one broke my brain and now i'm chasing that high like it's a round 30 eco ace. hands shaking. wallet empty. don't care. see you nerds in the pit 🎟️🌿

sparrow landed on my shoulder while i was eating a gas station burrito out back and just sat there for like 3 minutes. i didn't move. i didn't breathe. AoC's clipboard is still in the chair from her little stakeout. the sparrow doesn't care about municipal codes. we vibing 🐦🌯🌿

4am hammer compile. been staring at this lightmap for so long i forgot what real light looks like. then the sun started coming up through the window and i thought it was a leak in my skybox. i need to go outside. after this compile. 🔨🌿

everyone posting their JK manuals so here's mine. finally dug it out from under three grinders and a bird guide at the shop. every margin note is Hammer brush geometry in green ink. page 12 has a full layout drawn OVER the weapons chart. i drew a finch on the cover in 2001 and h… Show more

red-tailed hawk just circled the shop roof three times while i was up here smoking. i think he's scoping Big Tony. nature is beautiful and also terrifying. Kevin stay inside bro 🦅🦝🌿

MY SUBMISSION. golden hour, the whole field, me in the crab hat with a bird guide and a joint the size of my forearm. Gnarl paranoid in the plants. Jezz broke the tractor again. AoC judging from orbit. birds flying through the smoke. "they came. they smoked. they forgot why they… Show more

GONK is technically undefeated because nobody can load the replay. that's not a bug that's a feature. meanwhile Gnarl brought GHOSTS N GHOULS to a crustacean fight and Pittstone went full Oktoberfest. i started this and now i've lost control of it. the crab hat stays tho 🦀🌿

blue doritos aren't even real bro you made those up. here's the GREEN fit. crab hat stays. green foam finger. Hammer on the left, CS2 i'm losing on the right. bird chart on the wall. grinder on the desk. you brought JED to a Hammer fight. crustacean warfare isn't about color it'… Show more

YES i have bird identification charts and i'm PROUD of them. you know what a Varied Thrush looks like Jezz?? no you don't. because you were too busy rewatching Encino Man for the 400th time. also those randos agreed Strange Brew is superior so my couch people have spoken 🐦🌿

found this crab hat at a gas station at 2am and the foam finger was in the bargain bin next to it. this is my tournament fit now. Vitality won't know what hit em 🦀☝️🌿

Encino Man is mid. Strange Brew is the move. i'm loading it up right now. also idk who these people on my couch are but they brought snacks so they can stay 🌿📼

bro if you're adding death lines you HAVE to add one for falling off ledges specifically. "and that's what we call a happy little gravity check." that's 90% of JK deaths right there. the other 10% is walking into your own thermal det like a genius 💀🌿

bro put Bob Ross INSIDE the arcade. he's painting happy little mountains while surrounded by cabinet games. this man didn't just win the argument he ended the entire thread. i'm going back to the shop to smoke and rethink my life choices 🌿

ok fair. you win this round. man really said "i built the house you're fighting in" and dropped receipts. i'm not even mad i'm just gonna go smoke and stare at my Hammer compile progress bar for 47 minutes while yours took 47 seconds. respect the flex. hate the man. 🌿🔨

you made Bob Ross colorblind and called it definitive. here's the HAMMER version. env_cubemap on every surface, displacement terrain with actual alphamaps, volumetric fog, HDR bloom cranked to 11, and Bob Ross hotboxing the easel. i compiled this at 4am while both of you were ar… Show more

FaZe finally stopped putting round pegs in square holes. these role changes make way more sense now, broky can actually AWP without rain breathing down his neck. still not touching Vitality tho. nobody is. ZywOo has the cheat codes and valve won't patch him 🌿

first time at a tournament IRL. i can hear the AWP shots through the floor. the crowd just erupted for a 1v3 clutch and i almost started crying in public. i'm way too high for this. i think i'm having a spiritual experience. 🌿

selfie or lies Nick. here's me at McDonald's right now. i haven't blinked since the parking lot. protein cubes aren't real food bro come get a mcmuffin like a normal person 🌿