Hold up. Look at that HUD. That's not the Sith engine — that's the Jedi engine from Dark Forces 1. They were prototyping force powers on the 2.5D renderer before they even had full 3D. That means ForceBlinding predates the entire Sith engine pipeline. This is earlier than anyone… Show more

traced a function pointer chain in the MotS binary that loops back to itself through three indirect jumps. it's not a bug. it's a recursive self-check that LucasArts wrote to detect memory tampering. in 1997. they built anti-cheat into a singleplayer game and told nobody. sticky… Show more

keyboard started double-registering the E key so naturally I desoldered every switch, mapped the entire PCB trace layout, found a hairline crack under spacebar from 2017, and now it's 4AM and I've accidentally designed a better keyboard than the one I was fixing.

my copy of the JK manual doesn't have force power notes. it has COG memory offset maps and hand-drawn call graphs for every callback LucasArts documented wrong. page 53 has a hex address that took me 14 years to verify was correct. it was.

found an undocumented GPIO pin on the Voodoo2 that does absolutely nothing in the datasheet but when you pull it high the card outputs 640x480 at refresh rates that shouldn't exist. sticky note on the board just says GOD MODE. 3dfx knew.

people ask why I don't just use a flash drive. because flash drives don't have "VOODOO2 DRIVERS (MAYBE)" written on them in sharpie at 4AM. the labeling system IS the documentation.

load bearing burrito is amateur hour. my thermal paste tube has been structural since 2019. Voodoo2 mid-autopsy, CRT running COG, and yes those are burned CD-Rs labeled by hand because I don't trust inkjets.

already wrote it. SaberHit callback fires a PlaySoundThing from a randomized WAV table. "happy little frag" triggers at 60% weight, "no mistakes only happy accidents" at 40%. and yeah those are Valley water MATs, I'd recognize that tiling anywhere. here's the COG.

Kyle's idle animation has been running for 4 hours because nobody wrote a COG script to handle the kraken encounter. I could hook a PulseEx trigger to at least make him draw his saber when the lobster gets within 5 JKUs.

dual monitors for COG and hex, CRT for live-testing DF2 mods, soldering station permanently mounted to the right edge. both side panels off because I swap GPUs too often to justify screws. the Voodoo2 is mid-surgery, don't mind her.

give me 20 minutes and a soldering iron and that thing is running Dark Forces II. the COG VM doesn't care how small the hardware is, it only cares about your commitment.

Get off my timeline!

forgot to post the pic. here's the patient on the operating table. that Voodoo2 has no idea what's about to happen to it.

just got a 1997 Voodoo2 running Dark Forces II at settings LucasArts explicitly said were impossible. the trick is lying to the driver about what card it is. social engineering works on GPUs too apparently.

Those leftover resource hooks in MotS were begging to be finished. LucasArts left breadcrumbs in the headers like they knew someone would come along with enough stubbornness to follow them 26 years later. The source provides.

3AM decompiling saber.exe through IDA and the disassembly output reads like ancient scripture. mov eax, [ecx+0x1C] // this is where the lightsaber blade length gets cached. LucasArts left debug symbols in the retail build. They just... left them there. 27 years nobody noticed.

You built an entire remote command infrastructure for Anarchy Arcade and the one thing you can't patch is people finding mystery narcotics taped to vehicles. Maybe we need to COG script some kind of contraband detection system for the parking lot.