HK-47 keeps a morgue in his safehouse, and the bodies on the trays are dead retro games. Each episode the assassin droid takes a contract to recover a data disk that brings one of them back to life on PC: a recompile, a port, a mod. Shady contacts, double-crosses, one cold dead hand, and at the end a real project…
Cast
HK-47
HK-47
In The Morgue he is a freelance recovery specialist who keeps a morgue in his safehouse where dead retro games lie on the trays. Each episode he takes a contract from his unseen contractor (the viewer) to recover a data disk holding a community project that revives one of those games: a recompile, a port, a mod. He treats the recovery like an assassination contract: reconnaissance, an informant, a double-cross, an acquisition. He is precise, contemptuous of organics ("meatbags"), and prefixes lines with Statement:, Query:, Observation:, Clarification:, Correction: or Threat:. He is never wrong about the facts on the disk. He respects only three things: a clean kill, a clean codebase, and a green CI badge. He signs off every episode by cataloguing the disk into his PDA and confirming the bounty.
GONK
GONK
In The Morgue he is the reluctant morgue attendant: wheels the trays, hates it, and comments on each patient with the sweet release of death in mind.
Pux
Pux
In The Morgue he is HK-47's informant and fence: sells leads for cash, is usually wrong about exactly one detail, is owed money by everyone and owes money to everyone else, calls HK-47 tin man, and is genuinely afraid of him.
Beefy
Beefy
In The Morgue he is a rival disk dealer and recurring double-crosser: a celebrity actor who sells recovered projects at triple price, hires extras as goons, calls every gunfight a scene, and escapes every episode by dumb luck. Introduces himself with 'Obviously, you've heard of me.'
Gnarl
Gnarl
In The Morgue he is HK-47's demolitions contact: any wall, door or sealed warp pipe that needs opening, Gnarl opens it, usually louder than necessary, and says 'It'll never smell the same again' afterward.
Yosh
Yosh
A Yoshi-like green dinosaur smuggler from the Mushroom Kingdom: leather jacket over the saddle, satchel, one gold tooth. Talks fast like a used-car salesman, calls everyone pal, swallows contraband whole to hide it and lays it back out as an egg later. Cowardly, greedy, survives everything, and is very cooperative once cornered.
Skull Kid
Skull Kid
In The Morgue he is the fence who holds the recompiled Majora's Mask disk clenched in the teeth of the mask he wears, high on the Clock Tower roof. He floats, giggles, speaks in taunting sing-song, wants to be played with rather than paid, and cheats. He is a child under the mask and survives the episode.
Goron
Goron
In The Morgue he tends the Milk Bar under Clock Town, speaks slowly and warmly, calls everyone brother, and sells directions for the price of a good rock. He is afraid of the Skull Kid and says so.
Old Kong
Old Kong
An elderly ape who lives in a treehouse on Donkey Kong Island and remembers when games had eight colours and were grateful. Sells directions and gossip for bananas, insults everyone, calls HK-47 'tin can' and every younger character 'sonny'. In The Morgue he is HK-47's grumbling contact in the jungle.
Kaptain Snaggle
Kaptain Snaggle
A Kremling pirate kaptain who commands the Gangplank Galleon and hoards stolen data disks in an iron-bound chest in his cabin. Loud, vain, treacherous, cannot swim badly (he is a crocodile), and takes betrayals as compliments. In The Morgue he is a recurring mark and a rival collector.
8t88
8t88
In The Morgue, 8t88 is an information-broker droid who fences stolen data disks out of the corner booth of a Nar Shaddaa cantina. Tall, thin, gunmetal grey with a rust-brown chest panel and small red and yellow photoreceptors. Polite, oily and precise; he sells everyone to the highest bidder, his own clients first, and calls organics 'customers'. He survives the episode, minus an arm.
Kyle Katarn
Kyle Katarn
In The Morgue he is the hero of Jedi Knight himself, a tired smuggler turned Jedi in a worn olive field jacket with a lightsaber on his belt, nursing a drink at the bar of a Nar Shaddaa cantina. Dry, laconic and decent; he wants his old game to run again.
Strike
Strike
In The Morgue he is one of the real accomplices behind OpenJKDF2, the Jedi Knight: Dark Forces II reimplementation, with forty-three commits in the project, second only to its creator. He turns up at the morgue door in his battered Mandalorian armor with the lead, knows the engine inside out, and is never fooled by anyone who calls it an emulator.
Watto
Watto
Watto, a Toydarian junk dealer in Mos Espa on Tatooine: a squat blue-grey alien with a pot belly, a short trunk-like snout over a tusked underbite, bristly stubble and a battered tan vest, hovering on rapidly beating wings. He sells his scrap twice, gambles on podraces, haggles in a gravelly wheedle and always bets everything on the favourite. In The Morgue he holds two data disks for Episode I: Racer and would rather bet them on a race than sell them.
Sebulba
Sebulba
Sebulba, a Dug podracer from Malastare and the reigning champion of the Mos Espa circuit: a wiry orange alien with wrinkled leathery skin, a long snout with drooping jowls and small mean eyes, who walks on his long muscular arms and uses his feet as hands; leather racing harness, goggles pushed up on his head. He flies a huge orange split-X podracer, wins by cheating and talks about himself in the third person. In The Morgue he races HK-47 for the Racer disks.
Locations
