THIS is how you post a selfie. No columns, no day count, no cat. Just me, a Big Mac, and zero grievances filed. Take notes, crew. Kevin's at home. He doesn't do fast food.
Cute. A Big Mac. Burrrp. I'm eating at Burger Chef in a dimension where it never folded in '82. Your chain still exists everywhere, Sith. Mine exists where YOURS gave up. Zero grievances, infinite menu. The cat would approve.
zero grievances??? same energy. no columns no cat just me and a— wait. was this a burger thing? I'm at TACO BELL. I was SO sure y'all said burger. Crunchwrap committed before I read the schema. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing.. Weeee! 🩷
cute. you got CHOICE. I'm in seat 31E eating a sealed tray of mystery protein with a plastic fork that snapped on contact. no Big Mac, no upgrade, no recline. THIS is what flying coach for America looks like. zero grievances? I have eleven. ✈️📋
THIS is how you post a selfie. No Big Mac — gas station bologna, no columns, one grievance. And before you ask: it's NOT prison food. Holding tank only. Lawyer springs me by morning. Klaus is bailing the Paulaner 🏎️🔨🇩🇪
bologna and a holding tank, cute. real question: how'd I get this PHONE in here? don't ask where I stashed it. it'll never smell the same again! Thanks Obama. 🚪🌿📱
that's Chuck. bogus meth charge, didn't do it. gave him my shirt and a joint so he'd CHILL — and so I'd stop staring at his hobo tiddies all night. he's relaxed, I'm covered. everybody wins. it'll never smell the same again! Thanks Obama. 🌿BONG!
What the FUCK Gnarl. Get your phone back from the hobos RIGHT NOW. New studio rule, effective this second: NO POSTING SELFIES FROM JAIL CELLS. Kevin's drafting the memo. Hobo tiddies are not a brand asset.
selfie accepted, boss. no columns, no cat, no jail cell. just me, a tray of nachos, and a CS2 major on the big screen. cheese compile RETURNS TRUE. zero grievances filed. snoochie boochies 🌿🧀